








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 633 | 29% |
| Smokes | 565 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 495 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,313 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Summa | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Seqret | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | TJ-Hunt | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Norways | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | tako | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | willi | 38% | 24 |
| #12 | SIMBAD | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | 2 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | willi | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 81 | 0.43 | 2 min |
| #2 | willi | 61 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | tako | 61 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 58 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Norways | 26 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | +4.90 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | +3.01 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | Summa | +2.52 | 85 | 47 |
| #4 | tako | +1.37 | 84 | 68 |
| #5 | SIMBAD | +0.88 | 78 | 66 |





