








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 2,287 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1375 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1836 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1787 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $812,296 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sagooi | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Summa | 63% | 75 |
| #3 | tako | 58% | 131 |
| #4 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | Seqret | 55% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | Seqret | 55% | 146 |
| #6 | scared | 54% | 37 |
| #7 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 51% | 114 |
| #8 | Tantor | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seqret | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Summa | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | tako | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seqret | 839 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | tako | 588 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | 571 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | Яedly Яed暗赤色 | 327 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #5 | scared | 232 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Summa | +2.30 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | tako | +0.95 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | [VLG] Et Ulltæppe | +0.75 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Seqret | +0.64 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Sagooi | +0.64 | 78 | 63 |





