








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1989 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3255 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2688 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,006,902 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jocke | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | langen | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 43% | 190 |
| #9 | FresҚe | 41% | 288 |
| #10 | Vallonen | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALLINZOOOR | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | FresҚe | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Jocke | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Él Mòppo | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FresҚe | 950 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | KALLINZOOOR | 479 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 381 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Él Mòppo | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Havremoped | 158 | 0.09 | 5 min |





