








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1916 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 607 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4720 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6079 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3925 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4683 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,710,108 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | såZ | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | LEVIN | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | Havremoped | 51% | 131 |
| #4 | Cheifen | 48% | 100 |
| #5 | slay | 47% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | KALLINZOOOR | 42% | 273 |
| #13 | Nae. | 39% | 101 |
| #14 | Jocke | 39% | 83 |
| #15 | Vallonen | 31% | 61 |
| #16 | Twonell | 29% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALLINZOOOR | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Él Mòppo | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | FresҚe | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Havremoped | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Cheifen | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FresҚe | 1269 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | KALLINZOOOR | 553 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | Él Mòppo | 508 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Havremoped | 270 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | King Georg ♣ | 264 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | såZ | +4.43 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | +2.59 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | andyy | +1.09 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | KALLINZOOOR | +0.46 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | slay | -0.28 | 74 | 43 |





