








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1701 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1724 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1409 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1365 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,206 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thimmie | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Él Mòppo | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 51% | 131 |
| #4 | KALLINZOOOR | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | FresҚe | 50% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | FresҚe | 50% | 179 |
| #6 | King Georg ♣ | 48% | 80 |
| #7 | Jocke | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | slay | 33% | 45 |
| #9 | SKunk3N^^ | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FresҚe | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | KALLINZOOOR | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Thimmie | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | slay | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FresҚe | 543 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 213 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | KALLINZOOOR | 191 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | King Georg ♣ | 120 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Él Mòppo | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | +2.37 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | KALLINZOOOR | +1.26 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | Thimmie | +0.97 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | slay | +0.09 | 72 | 46 |
| #5 | Havremoped | +0.01 | 59 | 61 |





