








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 590 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6748 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8513 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6494 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4026 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,299 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Vallonen | 42% | 69 |
| #8 | King Georg ♣ | 41% | 288 |
| #9 | Jocke | 41% | 76 |
| #10 | Nae. | 37% | 41 |
| #11 | langen | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALLINZOOOR | 23 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Havremoped | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Él Mòppo | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | King Georg ♣ | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KALLINZOOOR | 711 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #2 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | 679 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #3 | King Georg ♣ | 398 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #4 | Él Mòppo | 377 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | Havremoped | 367 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeDownsTiger/Linder | +2.17 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | KALLINZOOOR | +0.76 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | slay | -0.11 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | Havremoped | -0.29 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | FresҚe | -0.68 | 59 | 62 |





