








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 288 | 13% |
| Smokes | 534 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 906 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,829 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | citrus | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | LeXmaskinen | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Ausa | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | demigod | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Gotti | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | Andri`` | 38% | 13 |
| #21 | kArri0uz | 38% | 16 |
| #22 | eMbo | 36% | 14 |
| #23 | Drekzler | 33% | 9 |
| #24 | BomberMan | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kArri0uz | 3 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | kristoferomar2009 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | BomberMan | 1 | 0.0048 |





