








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 337 | 32% |
| Smokes | 51 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 279 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 393 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,824 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Door Snake ♿ | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Boffe | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | CHONKER | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Goffe | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | Kebabriella | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Boffe | 48% | 69 |
| #3 | CHONKER | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Goffe | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | Kebabriella | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | GRAPPO | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Kebabriella | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Goffe | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | GRAPPO | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | CHONKER | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Goffe | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kebabriella | 102 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Door Snake ♿ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | GRAPPO | 60 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | +3.74 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Goffe | +1.59 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | Door Snake ♿ | +1.07 | 44 | 70 |
| #4 | GRAPPO | -0.30 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | rölme | -2.78 | 48 | 37 |





