








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6420 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6241 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5780 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4725 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,174,490 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Door Snake ♿ | 57% | 228 |
| #2 | Leon | 52% | 104 |
| #3 | Goffe | 50% | 484 |
| #4 | rölme | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | Kebabriella | 48% | 453 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rölme | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | Kebabriella | 48% | 453 |
| #6 | GRAPPO | 48% | 185 |
| #7 | CHONKER | 47% | 165 |
| #8 | Playride | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kebabriella | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Goffe | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | CHONKER | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | GRAPPO | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Door Snake ♿ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goffe | 1517 | 0.15 | 42 min |
| #2 | Kebabriella | 916 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #3 | Door Snake ♿ | 532 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | GRAPPO | 286 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | CHONKER | 214 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | +3.54 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Goffe | +1.65 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Door Snake ♿ | +0.57 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | Playride | +0.06 | 37 | 59 |
| #5 | GRAPPO | -0.43 | 59 | 62 |





