








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 210 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2604 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3607 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5130 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,812,941 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Door Snake ♿ | 54% | 162 |
| #2 | Boffe | 48% | 453 |
| #3 | Goffe | 47% | 497 |
| #4 | Leon | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | rölme | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Leon | 46% | 71 |
| #5 | rölme | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | GRAPPO | 44% | 213 |
| #7 | Playride | 41% | 64 |
| #8 | CHONKER | 40% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Goffe | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | CHONKER | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | GRAPPO | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Door Snake ♿ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goffe | 1580 | 0.15 | 44 min |
| #2 | Boffe | 1018 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | Door Snake ♿ | 416 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | GRAPPO | 311 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | CHONKER | 127 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boffe | +3.63 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Goffe | +1.96 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | Playride | +0.74 | 40 | 58 |
| #4 | Door Snake ♿ | +0.54 | 44 | 71 |
| #5 | GRAPPO | -0.13 | 60 | 63 |





