








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 566 | 21% |
| Smokes | 699 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 715 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,948 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonni | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | elQ | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | DOGWATER | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Crusifer | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | rawdog69 | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | WilhelmTwister | 45% | 62 |
| #14 | Vainottaja | 43% | 7 |
| #15 | KanaKebbe | 40% | 10 |
| #16 | Sousagestick | 36% | 11 |
| #17 | barraguda | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WilhelmTwister | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | DOGWATER | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Sergej | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Hiki | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | barraguda | 3 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WilhelmTwister | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hiki | 113 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Crusifer | 104 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | DOGWATER | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sergej | 76 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WilhelmTwister | +4.16 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | Crusifer | +3.33 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Sonni | +1.81 | 68 | 51 |
| #4 | Hiki | +1.72 | 72 | 84 |
| #5 | rawdog69 | +0.70 | 53 | 60 |





