








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 752 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 913 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2282 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1755 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,402 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baumschere | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Rainer Zufall | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 50% | 140 |
| #4 | Mr. Spliff | 48% | 116 |
| #5 | ND Herbert | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | FabiMK1 | 35% | 17 |
| #12 | Klinge Ling | 33% | 42 |
| #13 | ♡l0c4lf3mb0y♡ | 30% | 20 |
| #14 | Na1tsa high af | 29% | 38 |
| #15 | Mooglie | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Nightdreams | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | NoBrainJustAim | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Mr. Spliff | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Nightdreams | 886 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 760 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 379 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | NoBrainJustAim | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Na1tsa high af | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bretterverleih | +3.70 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Rainer Zufall | +2.67 | 61 | 75 |
| #3 | Baumschere | +1.81 | 50 | 69 |
| #4 | Na1tsa high af | +1.32 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | NoBrainJustAim | +1.22 | 56 | 53 |





