










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5175 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5241 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5177 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5550 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,389,873 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Nightdreams | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Deloxes | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | NoBrainJustAim | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Mr. Spliff | 8 | 0.0017 |





