








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7223 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7395 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8146 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9397 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,625,564 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klinge Ling | 45% | 121 |
| #2 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 44% | 377 |
| #3 | Deloxes | 44% | 254 |
| #4 | Mr. Spliff | 43% | 278 |
| #5 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 42% | 673 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bretterverleih | 39% | 64 |
| #10 | Na1tsa high af | 38% | 151 |
| #11 | crazy Horst | 36% | 66 |
| #12 | ND Herbert | 36% | 73 |
| #13 | Mooglie | 28% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoBrainJustAim | 18 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 17 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Deloxes | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Mr. Spliff | 10 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 1650 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #2 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 944 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Na1tsa high af | 534 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | NoBrainJustAim | 329 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Deloxes | 233 | 0.04 | 6 min |





