










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1091 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,954 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deloxes | 47% | 57 |
| #2 | Baumschere | 42% | 72 |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | C0mpyyy | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | C0mpyyy | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 38% | 80 |
| #6 | Mr. Spliff | 36% | 42 |
| #7 | Snow Nightdreams | 36% | 73 |
| #8 | NoBrainJustAim | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Snow Nightdreams | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Baumschere | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Deloxes | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mr. Spliff | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Nightdreams | 325 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jyldara. | ♥ | 214 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | 120 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Baumschere | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | NoBrainJustAim | 49 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0mpyyy | +6.17 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | NoBrainJustAim | +1.80 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | Deloxes | +1.35 | 70 | 42 |
| #4 | ꧁Dorsy꧂ | +0.73 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Baumschere | -0.47 | 51 | 67 |





