








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2352 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1909 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1709 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1752 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,992 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarmO | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Yellow | 71% | 68 |
| #3 | Gunnar | 67% | 42 |
| #4 | jSW ❥ Glasha ⛟ | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | skyper | 53% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunnar | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | jSW ❥ Glasha ⛟ | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Gunnar | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | skyper | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Skibidisvinis | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jSW ❥ Glasha ⛟ | 232 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gunnar | 204 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Yellow | 156 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | JarmO | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gunnar | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarmO | +4.06 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | Groeggᶠᵘᶜᵏ | +1.83 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Gunnar | +0.50 | 51 | 59 |
| #4 | jSW ❥ Glasha ⛟ | +0.18 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | skyper | -0.28 | 67 | 66 |





