








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2746 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1167 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $698,651 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarmO | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Gunnar | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Yellow | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | Gunnar | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | skyper | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Balletask | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Capybara// | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | Skibidisvinis | 51% | 35 |
| #10 | clazze | 48% | 25 |
| #11 | Hallo? | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groeggᶠᵘᶜᵏ | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | clazze | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Skibidisvinis | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | skyper | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Gunnar | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groeggᶠᵘᶜᵏ | 217 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gunnar | 133 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yellow | 119 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | JarmO | 62 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | skyper | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JarmO | +4.69 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Hallo? | +2.73 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Groeggᶠᵘᶜᵏ | +1.26 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | Gunnar | +0.59 | 52 | 62 |
| #5 | jSW ❥ Glasha ⛟ | +0.41 | 54 | 63 |





