








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3512 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 458 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 240 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 195 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 288 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




141 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
22025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 68,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20569 | 30% |
| Smokes | 19035 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 13047 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 15404 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,239,653 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PitbullFan69 | 63% | 179 |
| #2 | C Z | 62% | 370 |
| #3 | Skippy Pancakes | 61% | 268 |
| #4 | Cant put down the cup | 57% | 651 |
| #5 | Bongcrank | 56% | 868 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongcrank | 64 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 🅼 | 61 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Burger | 55 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Grizzlee | 42 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Cant put down the cup | 28 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongcrank | 1687 | 0.10 | 47 min |
| #2 | 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 🅼 | 1577 | 0.24 | 39 min |
| #3 | Burger | 1216 | 0.33 | 37 min |
| #4 | McNutzz | 578 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #5 | Grizzlee | 570 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | +1.90 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | Cant put down the cup | +1.30 | 67 | 30 |
| #3 | Burger | +1.01 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | McNutzz | +0.69 | 54 | 63 |
| #5 | Bongcrank | +0.53 | 76 | 60 |





