










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1528 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4741 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3368 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3423 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,439,166 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongcrank | 62% | 307 |
| #2 | dwubsly | 62% | 370 |
| #3 | PitbullFan69 | 60% | 88 |
| #4 | Skippy Pancakes | 60% | 85 |
| #5 | Cant put down the cup | 59% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dwubsly | 62% | 370 |
| #3 | PitbullFan69 | 60% | 88 |
| #4 | Skippy Pancakes | 60% | 85 |
| #5 | Cant put down the cup | 59% | 273 |
| #6 | Bell | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Bongcrank | 23 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Cant put down the cup | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | PitbullFan69 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Skippy Pancakes | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | 1090 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #2 | Bongcrank | 679 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | Bell | 186 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | PitbullFan69 | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Skippy Pancakes | 31 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | +2.00 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | Cant put down the cup | +1.03 | 68 | 31 |
| #3 | Bongcrank | +0.79 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Bell | +0.34 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | C Z | +0.10 | 71 | 46 |





