








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 2% |
| Smokes | 4247 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4286 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3024 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,441,380 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PitbullFan69 | 65% | 88 |
| #2 | Skippy Pancakes | 59% | 133 |
| #3 | C Z | 59% | 273 |
| #4 | dwubsly | 57% | 651 |
| #5 | Bongcrank | 56% | 563 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Skippy Pancakes | 59% | 133 |
| #3 | C Z | 59% | 273 |
| #4 | dwubsly | 57% | 651 |
| #5 | Bongcrank | 56% | 563 |
| #6 | Bell | 49% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongcrank | 35 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | dwubsly | 33 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Skippy Pancakes | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | C Z | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | PitbullFan69 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | 1652 | 0.13 | 41 min |
| #2 | Bongcrank | 1095 | 0.10 | 30 min |
| #3 | Bell | 294 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | C Z | 155 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | PitbullFan69 | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | +1.67 | 69 | 63 |
| #2 | Cant put down the cup | +1.46 | 68 | 30 |
| #3 | Bongcrank | +0.12 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | C Z | -0.27 | 69 | 43 |
| #5 | Bell | -0.66 | 75 | 60 |





