








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Esplay | 175 matches | 1,625 | |
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6671 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5539 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8654 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5143 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,299 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjesmu[G] | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | AZZA | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | Kjendiss! | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | ZZRunner | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | munky[G] | 51% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | goodie | 48% | 67 |
| #11 | Mantipanti | 47% | 36 |
| #12 | Ruby Rose | 46% | 80 |
| #13 | Apprentice | 45% | 118 |
| #14 | brew | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlb | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | AZZA | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | munky[G] | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Apprentice | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Ruby Rose | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | munky[G] | 351 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | HeteNicco[G] | 322 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | AZZA | 184 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | xlb | 171 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Apprentice | 159 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AZZA | +2.32 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Mantipanti | +2.10 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | ZZRunner | +2.05 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | Kjesmu[G] | +1.53 | 69 | 79 |
| #5 | brew | +0.56 | 67 | 65 |





