








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 343 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5925 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4799 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3406 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4084 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,207 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merkules | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | vassi*APSJ | 54% | 104 |
| #3 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | J.S./M0mMo | 53% | 112 |
| #5 | G13 | 53% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | J.S./M0mMo | 53% | 112 |
| #5 | G13 | 53% | 97 |
| #6 | C3SCO | 50% | 312 |
| #7 | keda619 | 50% | 163 |
| #8 | Grande | 49% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3SCO | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | J.S./M0mMo | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | G13 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | vassi*APSJ | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | keda619 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3SCO | 619 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Merkules | 354 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | keda619 | 342 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Grande | 273 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | vassi*APSJ | 203 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Merkules | +2.26 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | vassi*APSJ | +2.11 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | en nää kävelevä kanto ツ | +1.97 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | C3SCO | +1.52 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | J.S./M0mMo | +0.61 | 70 | 51 |





