








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 700 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8437 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9994 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9165 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7627 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,684,293 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vassi*APSJ | 55% | 210 |
| #2 | Merkules | 54% | 140 |
| #3 | Grande | 52% | 362 |
| #4 | G13 | 51% | 249 |
| #5 | J.S./M0mMo | 51% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Grande | 52% | 362 |
| #4 | G13 | 51% | 249 |
| #5 | J.S./M0mMo | 51% | 113 |
| #6 | DieHund | 50% | 312 |
| #7 | keda619 | 50% | 308 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DieHund | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | J.S./M0mMo | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Grande | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | keda619 | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | G13 | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DieHund | 1160 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | Grande | 728 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | keda619 | 692 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | Merkules | 608 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #5 | G13 | 467 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vassi*APSJ | +2.56 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Merkules | +2.28 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | C3SCO | +1.41 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | DieHund | +0.56 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | G13 | +0.27 | 66 | 68 |





