








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 817 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3649 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5348 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4341 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5753 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,589,360 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Coach | 47% | 142 |
| #11 | JD | 45% | 159 |
| #12 | gbmaster | 44% | 218 |
| #13 | Brady | 43% | 46 |
| #14 | shepp- | 42% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | gbmaster | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | JD | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Coach | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | shepp- | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | 563 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | BeansRailed | 532 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | JD | 530 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | Coach | 266 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | shepp- | 204 | 0.04 | 6 min |





