








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 439 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4264 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5697 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6424 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5428 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,409 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xaaY | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Brady | 50% | 52 |
| #3 | JD | 49% | 190 |
| #4 | BeansRailed | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | MK | 49% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Coach | 48% | 186 |
| #8 | Swiftie John | 48% | 46 |
| #9 | yatah | 48% | 42 |
| #10 | HOONY | 47% | 276 |
| #11 | gbmaster | 47% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JD | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Coach | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | HOONY | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MK | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | gbmaster | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeansRailed | 674 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | JD | 638 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | HOONY | 361 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Coach | 326 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | shepp- | 176 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | supremee^ | +3.01 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | xaaY | +2.19 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | MK | +0.45 | 82 | 46 |
| #4 | BeansRailed | +0.42 | 78 | 64 |
| #5 | yatah | +0.29 | 69 | 73 |





