








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 496 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7073 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2312 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4278 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2658 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,751 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salix | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Gu3 | 47% | 223 |
| #3 | Eddy | 42% | 53 |
| #4 | Skeith | 41% | 64 |
| #5 | rowdy | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salix | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Gu3 | 47% | 223 |
| #3 | Eddy | 42% | 53 |
| #4 | Skeith | 41% | 64 |
| #5 | rowdy | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gu3 | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | rowdy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Salix | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Skeith | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Eddy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gu3 | 369 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Skeith | 271 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | rowdy | 194 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Salix | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Eddy | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeith | +2.12 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Gu3 | +1.30 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Eddy | -0.55 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | rowdy | -0.79 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Salix | -0.91 | 46 | 60 |





