








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5136 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4690 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3625 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4209 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,483 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⪨ Pageʀ ⪩ | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | HAUS | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | Captain-Frisk | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | Mort^ | 51% | 77 |
| #5 | Noddy :)) | 50% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | SkuM | 35% | 31 |
| #12 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 35% | 23 |
| #13 | jamojnsut | 34% | 29 |
| #14 | Chrilsk | 33% | 48 |
| #15 | DJ knirkende røvhul | 32% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy :)) | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Captain-Frisk | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | DJ knirkende røvhul | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | ⪨ Pageʀ ⪩ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Rababarnes Landsbank | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ost Stänger | 780 | 0.23 | 23 min |
| #2 | Noddy :)) | 578 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #3 | Rababarnes Landsbank | 253 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Captain-Frisk | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ⪨ Pageʀ ⪩ | 205 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy :)) | +2.47 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Ost Stänger | +2.32 | 79 | 80 |
| #3 | Potatis stänger | +0.78 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Captain-Frisk | +0.73 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | ⪨ Pageʀ ⪩ | +0.57 | 58 | 73 |





