








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
937 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1689 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1359 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1157 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1380 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,511 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkyDinky^ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Uffda.MSG | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ʈυеɴƄаƄȥ ツ | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | GuggI | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Noddy :)) | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 🅠🅟 | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | Mort^ | 50% | 62 |
| #11 | SkuM | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | jamojnsut | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy :)) | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Captain-Frisk | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | SkuM | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | GuggI | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Mort^ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy :)) | 366 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Potatis stänger | 232 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Captain-Frisk | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mort^ | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PinkyDinky^ | +2.75 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Noddy :)) | +1.96 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | Mort^ | +1.31 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Captain-Frisk | +1.09 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | Potatis stänger | +0.28 | 71 | 74 |





