








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 891 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18801 | 35% |
| Smokes | 10806 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 14395 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 9920 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,241,364 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 856 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oXn^ | 48% | 100 |
| #6 | Potatis stänger | 42% | 163 |
| #7 | Rababarnes Landsbank | 42% | 81 |
| #8 | Chrilsk | 39% | 82 |
| #9 | DJ knirkende røvhul | 34% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YxngstxrSL | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Potatis stänger | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | YungT | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | DJ knirkende røvhul | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Chrilsk | 5 | 0.0029 |





