








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 328 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6352 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5627 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6025 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4396 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,828 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkuM | 68% | 47 |
| #2 | GuggI | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | Uffda.MSG | 62% | 124 |
| #4 | ✨🅿🅻🅰🆈🅾🅽 â•⃤ | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | Noddy :)) | 60% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ♿HzE♿ | 56% | 131 |
| #10 | 🅠🅟 | 55% | 148 |
| #11 | Potatis stänger | 51% | 77 |
| #12 | HAUS | 50% | 62 |
| #13 | AkaJusten | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain-Frisk | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Uffda.MSG | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | PinkyDinky^ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Noddy :)) | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophets.dk | ✪ DeTox^| | 584 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Noddy :)) | 474 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Captain-Frisk | 462 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | 🅠🅟 | 312 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Potatis stänger | 273 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy :)) | +2.02 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Mort^ | +1.75 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | GuggI | +1.37 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | PinkyDinky^ | +1.29 | 89 | 59 |
| #5 | SkuM | +0.97 | 81 | 72 |





