








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2650 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2881 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2285 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,852 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Noko | 65% | 105 |
| #3 | Vanete | 62% | 85 |
| #4 | WaazZzaaPP | 56% | 109 |
| #5 | TRITON | 54% | 80 |
| #6 | Scott [PT] | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noko | 472 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | TRITON | 259 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | WaazZzaaPP | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vanete | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Scott [PT] | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |





