








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 64 matches | 1,912 | |
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1523 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1273 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1294 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $785,416 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Gunn1s♀❤ | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | MOTOR | 73% | 15 |
| #4 | BreMathias | 69% | 35 |
| #5 | leadfarmer69 | 63% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Damien | 44% | 9 |
| #18 | will | 43% | 28 |
| #19 | wUNDEER | 40% | 10 |
| #20 | PAPA DODZ | 33% | 36 |
| #21 | Phuk | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | BreMathias | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | PAPA DODZ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Diplo | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Tobbitv | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPA DODZ | 277 | 0.35 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lundinho | 158 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | TatoH | 153 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hugh | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | will | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOTOR | +4.09 | 76 | 78 |
| #2 | Hugh | +3.26 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +2.39 | 77 | 76 |
| #4 | wUNDEER | +1.52 | 86 | 77 |
| #5 | Supergizmo | +1.07 | 57 | 63 |





