








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 20 matches | 2,081 | |
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1866 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2259 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1511 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1858 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,395 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheeba | 69% | 35 |
| #2 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | TatoH | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | Phuk | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | MOTOR | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Lundinho | 55% | 76 |
| #12 | Hugh | 54% | 63 |
| #13 | Diplo | 53% | 17 |
| #14 | GIMS | 50% | 12 |
| #15 | NisseFrĆø- *NoScopeGlasses | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugh | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Lundinho | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Tobbitv | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | cheeba | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Jungle Jonas | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jungle Jonas | 408 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Lundinho | 200 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | TatoH | 147 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hugh | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | MOTOR | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GIMS | +3.92 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | NisseFrĆø- *NoScopeGlasses | +3.41 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | MOTOR | +3.13 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | TatoH | +1.56 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | Hugh | +1.45 | 77 | 63 |





