








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3390 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3576 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4100 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3505 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,423,122 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matra | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | schRsch | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | hr.Ryw0w | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | tENZA | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | eRDwOw | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | matra | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | schRsch | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | hr.Ryw0w | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | tENZA | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | eRDwOw | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRDwOw | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hr.Ryw0w | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | schRsch | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hr.Ryw0w | 200 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | schRsch | 179 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | matra | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | eRDwOw | 84 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | tENZA | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hr.Ryw0w | +1.89 | 65 | 62 |
| #2 | tENZA | +1.72 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | SM1LE | +0.96 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | schRsch | +0.15 | 38 | 72 |
| #5 | matra | -0.06 | 42 | 70 |





