








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 694 | 29% |
| Smokes | 559 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 447 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 667 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,618 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki 腟 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | B0bi | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Kimo | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | SPINNNNN | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | booNster | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SPINNNNN | 50% | 68 |
| #5 | booNster | 48% | 56 |
| #6 | pewpewpew | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | VIOVIO | 45% | 47 |
| #8 | cider-of-shr00m | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPINNNNN | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | booNster | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | VIOVIO | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | cider-of-shr00m | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPINNNNN | 205 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | booNster | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | VIOVIO | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | pewpewpew | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aki 腟 | +5.34 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | Kimo | +1.88 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | mo | +1.76 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | SPINNNNN | +1.50 | 66 | 80 |
| #5 | VIOVIO | +0.04 | 72 | 54 |





