








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1045 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,951 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimo | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | SPINNNNN | 50% | 62 |
| #3 | VIOVIO | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | pewpewpew | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | booNster | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Guardian | 30% | 23 |
| #9 | kiwi | 29% | 17 |
| #10 | 'Mufflon' | 28% | 29 |
| #11 | 'Klischee' | 25% | 24 |
| #12 | PawiDuck | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIOVIO | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Guardian | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | booNster | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | SPINNNNN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | 'Mufflon' | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPINNNNN | 187 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | booNster | 115 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | VIOVIO | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | mo | 94 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | pewpewpew | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mo | +2.53 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | SPINNNNN | +2.11 | 66 | 81 |
| #3 | VIOVIO | +1.83 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | 'Mufflon' | +1.55 | 44 | 61 |
| #5 | 'Klischee' | +1.30 | 50 | 65 |





