








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2165 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2965 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,724 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie` | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Kartza | 63% | 75 |
| #3 | mave | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | ogireg | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | code1ne | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | wNtd:> | 50% | 42 |
| #14 | CruNk. | 43% | 46 |
| #15 | Möllis | 43% | 42 |
| #16 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 35% | 26 |
| #17 | timi hendrix | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sipuli | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | weku | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Jantsuu | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Pöllö_// | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mave | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sipuli | 1030 | 0.22 | 33 min |
| #2 | Mossepo | 384 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pöllö_// | 172 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jantsuu | 150 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dafffttttyyy | 135 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mave | +2.11 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Mossepo | +1.89 | 85 | 78 |
| #3 | weku | +1.61 | 74 | 74 |
| #4 | Pöllö_// | +1.12 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | Lund | +1.10 | 70 | 56 |





