








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1017 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 340 matches | ||
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8413 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7368 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6825 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7139 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,395,285 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lund | 56% | 105 |
| #2 | Jantsuu | 53% | 129 |
| #3 | ogireg | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | Dafffttttyyy | 50% | 192 |
| #5 | Kartza | 50% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Möllis | 47% | 90 |
| #13 | timi hendrix | 43% | 53 |
| #14 | Vahrinae | 42% | 36 |
| #15 | Nazu | 32% | 53 |
| #16 | LAIHDUTTAJA | 26% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pöllö_// | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | CruNk. | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sipuli | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Kartza | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Dafffttttyyy | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sipuli | 1748 | 0.21 | 53 min |
| #2 | Pöllö_// | 774 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 455 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #4 | Dafffttttyyy | 415 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | wNtd:> | 377 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mossepo | +2.37 | 83 | 79 |
| #2 | weku | +1.32 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | ogireg | +0.84 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | Lund | +0.74 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | wNtd:> | +0.45 | 79 | 71 |





