








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1030 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 919 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1073 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,918 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MattyTray | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Shades | 64% | 58 |
| #3 | Uncle Dolan | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | AquAA | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | Vince | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | saiyo | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | shike | 56% | 25 |
| #8 | Ellis | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | Beezechurger | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Dot | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shike | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Vince | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | AquAA | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | MattyTray | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Beezechurger | 1 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shades | 155 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | shike | 110 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ellis | 80 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | saiyo | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | AquAA | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shades | +2.39 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | saiyo | +2.35 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | Congala | +1.72 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | Ellis | +1.26 | 87 | 76 |
| #5 | shike | +0.37 | 69 | 68 |





