








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2900 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3528 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1993 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,713,215 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skwi | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Shino | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | LE most. | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | ✪ PsyckoPâtes | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | R2 | 40% | 63 |
| #11 | Blunk | 39% | 41 |
| #12 | xpRim | 39% | 72 |
| #13 | AkA | 35% | 31 |
| #14 | /// /\ | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLAGADA ツ | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Ziva | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | xpRim | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Phûûcc✔ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | R2 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phûûcc✔ | 379 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ziva | 368 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | xpRim | 301 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | FLAGADA ツ | 282 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | R2 | 209 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunk | +1.91 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪ PsyckoPâtes | +1.34 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | Skwi | +1.30 | 71 | 80 |
| #4 | Shino | +1.17 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | R2 | +0.63 | 78 | 67 |





