








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5930 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7337 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5097 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5170 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,035 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMECTA | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | /// /\ | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | AkA | 54% | 115 |
| #4 | Blunk | 53% | 87 |
| #5 | Skwi | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Phûûcc✔ | 42% | 133 |
| #12 | asynchrone.SK# ✪ | 41% | 71 |
| #13 | AiiO #InSaNe ✅ | 40% | 40 |
| #14 | SΛShム\ | 40% | 63 |
| #15 | ✪ $ilvesteR | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLAGADA ツ | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | /// /\ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | xpRim | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SΛShム\ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | AiiO #InSaNe ✅ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpRim | 947 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | Phûûcc✔ | 779 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #3 | /// /\ | 638 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #4 | FLAGADA ツ | 487 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | AkA | 314 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skwi | +1.39 | 72 | 78 |
| #2 | Blunk | +1.37 | 73 | 68 |
| #3 | /// /\ | +1.26 | 81 | 70 |
| #4 | SMECTA | +0.97 | 90 | 52 |
| #5 | R2 | +0.78 | 77 | 67 |





