










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2177 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1097 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $280,487 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CatchM3 | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | FLACHMANN | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Burnie | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | XxYoUsEfInHOxX | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | ja1mz | 50% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ✪ aLex | 38% | 55 |
| #12 | R4ven | 38% | 45 |
| #13 | ph1lo*n1 | 36% | 22 |
| #14 | akman | 34% | 29 |
| #15 | S3pp-353 | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CatchM3 | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | CrUmZ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | stasK | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Burnie | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | R4ven | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stasK | 262 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | CrUmZ | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ aLex | 142 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | ja1mz | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Burnie | 114 | 0.16 | 4 min |





