








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 263 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6111 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4649 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4807 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3307 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,974 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coderunner | 52% | 258 |
| #2 | Zrtn | 50% | 284 |
| #3 | donbeezy | 50% | 238 |
| #4 | zx-mattY | 49% | 337 |
| #5 | Bunn | 49% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zrtn | 50% | 284 |
| #3 | donbeezy | 50% | 238 |
| #4 | zx-mattY | 49% | 337 |
| #5 | Bunn | 49% | 129 |
| #6 | MoneyBags | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donbeezy | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Bunn | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | zx-mattY | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | coderunner | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Zrtn | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zx-mattY | 1032 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #2 | Zrtn | 952 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #3 | donbeezy | 610 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #4 | Bunn | 465 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | coderunner | 98 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coderunner | +1.81 | 75 | 39 |
| #2 | zx-mattY | +1.22 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Zrtn | +1.01 | 68 | 78 |
| #4 | MoneyBags | +0.14 | 61 | 69 |
| #5 | donbeezy | -1.16 | 39 | 77 |





