








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1088 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,374 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Mützchen | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Angel of Nightmare | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Schlomo | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lizec | 39% | 147 |
| #10 | Torrul | 38% | 42 |
| #11 | Fatsch | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | kay ツ | 34% | 88 |
| #13 | ❀˖° captainanniツ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Mützchen | 6 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | kay ツ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Angel of Nightmare | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Torrul | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 219 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Lizec | 113 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | ogletree | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | [►] 317 | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mützchen | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | +8.96 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | ogletree | +6.27 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +2.85 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | +1.27 | 42 | 49 |
| #5 | Angel of Nightmare | +0.90 | 44 | 49 |





