








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,485 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1653 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2254 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $976,196 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BOBER KURWA | 47% | 62 |
| #10 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | So3! ♫ | 46% | 142 |
| #12 | mule | 44% | 89 |
| #13 | Freemann | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IsZo# :> | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | So3! ♫ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | DrGhost | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | BOBER KURWA | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrGhost | 571 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | IsZo# :> | 558 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | So3! ♫ | 518 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | mule | 105 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | IronTony | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronTony | +4.46 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Gusseiserner Grübler | +2.68 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | +1.68 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | DrGhost | +0.58 | 58 | 83 |
| #5 | Zujin | +0.52 | 69 | 71 |





