










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9502 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8177 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7153 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6160 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,483 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 64% | 77 |
| #2 | Zujin | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | ✪ readem | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Bot Neon | 53% | 117 |
| #5 | sunr!se | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | So3! ♫ | 47% | 182 |
| #13 | \-| Frixx |-/ | 46% | 37 |
| #14 | IronTony | 46% | 61 |
| #15 | PORTMVN | 43% | 58 |
| #16 | mule | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | So3! ♫ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Bot Neon | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gusseiserner Grübler | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | IronTony | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Bamm-Boom-Geröllheimer | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | So3! ♫ | 766 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | IsZo# :> | 646 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Bot Neon | 230 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zujin | 195 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Berrix | 190 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronTony | +2.69 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Gusseiserner Grübler | +2.34 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | PORTMVN | +1.21 | 60 | 58 |
| #4 | Zujin | +0.62 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | DrGhost | +0.59 | 59 | 80 |





