








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4830 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4393 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2482 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3486 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,181,358 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUNJ | 74% | 69 |
| #2 | hmm | 69% | 86 |
| #3 | moses | 68% | 127 |
| #4 | Scrawn | 66% | 35 |
| #5 | JustHarry | 66% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | HenryG | 50% | 111 |
| #14 | heli- | 45% | 49 |
| #15 | lucy | 42% | 24 |
| #16 | JF- | 37% | 54 |
| #17 | Chouby | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUNJ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | moses | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | HenryG | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | lucy | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | JustHarry | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustHarry | 460 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | hmm | 443 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | SPUNJ | 318 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | HenryG | 272 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | moses | 255 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPUNJ | +2.49 | 93 | 79 |
| #2 | steel | +2.32 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | AliBond | +1.86 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | moses | +1.80 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | HenryG | +1.53 | 89 | 69 |





