








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2094 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1405 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,601 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuht | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | anvil & Iron | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | stew | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | steaksausage | 45% | 214 |
| #5 | Donnie | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Windows Vista | 34% | 35 |
| #10 | dalphabet | 32% | 47 |
| #11 | Oopsy Coopsy | 31% | 54 |
| #12 | Fernando | 29% | 34 |
| #13 | VirusFreak | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Shuht | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | stew | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Oopsy Coopsy | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 673 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 294 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Shuht | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | stew | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | SloppySeconds | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | +2.66 | 49 | 63 |
| #2 | Fernando | +2.08 | 71 | 42 |
| #3 | stew | +1.99 | 65 | 53 |
| #4 | Shuht | +0.84 | 41 | 53 |
| #5 | Donnie | +0.84 | 66 | 60 |





