








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4257 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3083 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3306 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3783 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,572,479 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fernando | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Oopsy Coopsy | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | Shuht | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | dalphabet | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | ahawleywood21 | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | whozat | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | TeeJ | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | anvil & Iron | 42% | 101 |
| #13 | SloppySeconds | 31% | 89 |
| #14 | Donnie | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 39 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | SloppySeconds | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | VirusFreak | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | anvil & Iron | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | 986 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | SloppySeconds | 128 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | allthingsruined | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Shuht | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whozat | +4.38 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | steaksausage | +2.63 | 47 | 64 |
| #3 | Fernando | +2.59 | 64 | 40 |
| #4 | Oopsy Coopsy | +1.96 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | TeeJ | +1.83 | 83 | 55 |





