








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8909 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13472 | 40% |
| Smokes | 10266 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6976 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2748 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,963,812 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuht | 50% | 145 |
| #2 | Fernando | 49% | 55 |
| #3 | allthingsruined | 45% | 214 |
| #4 | Donnie | 45% | 64 |
| #5 | ahawleywood21 | 45% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Oopsy Coopsy | 43% | 101 |
| #10 | anvil & Iron | 40% | 277 |
| #11 | SloppySeconds | 40% | 226 |
| #12 | dalphabet | 39% | 106 |
| #13 | VirusFreak | 35% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legendary Beagle Master | 29 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | stew | 17 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | anvil & Iron | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | SloppySeconds | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | allthingsruined | 14 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o7Delta | 942 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | Legendary Beagle Master | 774 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | allthingsruined | 504 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | stew | 494 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | Shuht | 315 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steaksausage | +2.70 | 46 | 65 |
| #2 | stew | +2.62 | 61 | 49 |
| #3 | Fernando | +1.61 | 65 | 42 |
| #4 | o7Delta | +0.94 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Donnie | +0.91 | 64 | 64 |





